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Tips for Co-Parenting After Divorce


Divorces can be difficult and complicated at the best of times. Dealing with the aftermath of a divorce is a process that takes time, care, and consideration. If there are children involved, it is important to keep a level head and focus on what is best for them. Below we provide a few tips on what to do and what not to do concerning co-parenting after a divorce. If you are facing child custody issues or divorce, reach out to a dedicated and compassionate New Jersey child custody and family law attorney.

Don’t let your emotions get the best of you

Emotions run high after divorce. It is crucial to make decisions about what to do and what to say based on rational decision making rather than letting emotions take over. You may end up regretting your behavior, and if you go too far, you might even hurt your position in future court battles. If you know you have a difficult conversation with your former spouse coming up, talk to a friend, a family member, or a therapist first.

Don’t put your kids in the middle

Your focus should always be first and foremost on what is best for your children. Divorces are hard on everyone involved, but they can be especially tough on kids, especially when the kids feel pressured to take a side. Avoid making your kids the messenger between you and your spouse, and avoid putting them in a position where they have to choose one parent or the other. The more neutral you can be regarding your ex, the better.

Do not badmouth your co-parent to your children

Along the same lines, regardless of how you feel about your former spouse, it is not productive to try to turn your child against their other parent. It is generally harmful to your child’s emotional and psychological well-being. Moreover, your co-parent may be able to use such behavior against you in court to reduce your custody rights. It is better to stick to the old adage: If you have nothing nice to say, say nothing at all.

Keep lines of communication open

It is sometimes challenging to keep in contact with a former spouse after a divorce. You may have strong feelings about your ex, about what happened during your marriage, and about how the divorce played out. If you have shared children, however, it is essential to coordinate with your co-parent on issues relating to your kids. Keeping communication open about your child’s education, medical problems, and general upbringing, as well as coordinating logistical plans relating to custody and visitation, are beneficial to your child’s well-being. Keeping lines of communication regularly open will also lessen the stress of any given conversation.

Call a New Jersey Child Custody and Divorce Attorney for Help

If you’re in need of seasoned, effective, and passionate legal help with child custody, divorce, or other family law matters in New Jersey, contact the Union offices of family law attorney John B. D’Alessandro at 908-964-0102.

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