What Couples are NOT Good Candidates for Mediation?

Mediation can be a great solution for many couples going through a divorce who want to avoid the stress and expense of a divorce trial. But mediation isn’t for every couple going through a split. If you’re facing the end of your marriage and are considering your options for how to call it quits, read on to learn some traits that could make you and your spouse poor candidates to mediate your divorce. Contact a New Jersey divorce lawyer with any additional questions you may have.

If you aren’t eager to see your spouse feel ok

Some marriages end amicably after couples reach the conclusion that they simply aren’t good as a pair. Some, however, end after a betrayal of trust that can be difficult to forget or put out of mind when sitting down at the mediation table together. Mediation is designed to provide a good outcome to both spouses in a split, and it necessarily involves some amount of compromise. If the thought of reaching a divorce settlement agreement that provides satisfaction not just to you, but also to your spouse, makes you even angrier, then you may not be a candidate for mediation.

If you have trouble standing up to your spouse

Mediation requires that both spouses advocate for what they want, while also being willing to consider alternatives. If you have a hard time standing up for what you want to your spouse, then mediation could result in you getting steamrolled. This is an especially big threat where there was emotional or physical abuse in the relationship. Even when a couple is no longer in a romantic relationship or abuse is no longer a threat, the poisonous dynamic that abuse creates can have a permanent impact on how the couple interacts.

If you need the court’s help in finding a custody arrangement that will protect your child

When couples with children mediate their divorce, the resulting custody arrangement is often very generous to both sides. If you are concerned that your ex could do harm if provided with an equal portion of parenting time with your child, you may be better off turning to the court to argue for restricted custody for your ex, perhaps limiting them to supervised visitation.

For professional, experienced, and effective representation for your New Jersey divorce, contact the Union family law attorney John B. D’Alessandro for a consultation on your case, at 908-964-0102.