When To Call It Quits: 7 Signs It Is Time for a Divorce
While marriage can be a blissful and happy union between two people, infidelity, loss of trust, and other irreconcilable differences may be reason enough to call it quits. If you begin experiencing any of these red flags in your marriage without success in trying to remedy them, it could be a sign that it’s time to move forward with a divorce.
1. Communication Between You and Your Partner Has Dwindled
Communication is an important element in any marriage. When communication begins to fail, so too does a marriage.
Oftentimes, couples will ignore the reality that a marriage is failing by hiding behind surface level and almost meaningless communication. This form of communication entails conversations that lack any depth. You or your partner may stop asking how the other is feeling, what their goals and aspirations are, or what their opinions on different topics and activities are.
A major sign that your marriage may be in trouble is if during disagreements, your communication is either non-existent or your conversations are riddled with insults, mean-spirited comments, or demeaning statements.
Couples that do not communicate with each other or are not willing to be open and vulnerable with each other are also less likely to be successful in mediation.
2. Your Partner Has Unrealistic Expectations
Unrealistic expectations are another common symptom of a failing marriage. Oftentimes, these unrealistic expectations are a defense mechanism used to justify why your marriage is failing.
If either you or your partner has unrealistic expectations for each other, it will be difficult if not impossible for those expectations to be met. These unrealistic expectations can also prompt you or your partner to reflect on the past and harp on how things could have been and where things went wrong. This may lead to one partner to begin blaming the other for why expectations are not met.
3. Emotional Disengagement or Lack of Intimacy
Both emotional and physical intimacy play key roles in keeping a marriage alive and well. A lack of emotional intimacy will often lead to a lack of physical intimacy. When this begins to happen, it’s important for both parties to communicate how they feel.
If communication is already a weak point of the marriage, then issues revolving around emotional and physical intimacy can be compounded. This may leave one partner feeling frustration, resentment, and even anger at the other.
A lack of emotional intimacy may lead one partner to feel like they are being neglected by the other. The same can be said for physical intimacy. A lack of physical intimacy in a relationship may dissolve the trust that one partner might have for the other.
Insecurities about why a partner is not being intimate may also develop. These insecurities can further dissolve a marriage if there is no solid ground for communication to take place.
4. Abuse in the Home
One of the more indicative signs that your marriage is in trouble and it may be time to end it is if there is abuse in the home. Abuse does not have to be just physical. It can be emotional as well.
Domestic abuse is defined as a pattern of incidents where one person is controlling, coercive, or displaying threatening behavior to another. Domestic abuse can also be an isolated incident in which one partner physically abuses the other.
Both physical and emotional abuse can cause irreparable harm if not addressed. Research indicates that 25 to 40% of women who move forward with a divorce do so because of issues related to domestic violence.
If you or someone you know struggles with domestic abuse, the National Domestic Abuse Hotline 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) offers a free and invaluable service to aid you in finding safety.
5. Your Partner Is Having an Affair
If you suspect or know that your partner is having an affair, this could be grounds to move forward with a divorce. A marriage that ends because of an affair will be labeled as such in court filings. However, affairs generally do not impact the terms of a divorce including alimony, child support, division of property, or other factors.
Some divorces can be resolved in the event an affair has taken place; however, substantial mediation and counseling efforts combined with dedication and willingness to repair the marriage from both parties must take place. Research suggests that anywhere between 20% – 40% of marriages end because of infidelity.
6. There Is a Lack of Trust
Trust is an important element to have in a marriage. Without it, you or your spouse may not feel secure and safe with one another. Trust can be lost in a marriage for a variety of reasons. Infidelity, a lack of honesty, abuse, and other factors can all contribute to a dissolution of trust.
When there is no trust in a marriage, it can be very difficult if not impossible for respect to exist in the marriage as well. Without respect, there is no reason to have your partner’s best interest in mind. This feeling of insecurity is detrimental to any relationship, especially a marriage.
7. There Is a Lack of Interest in Resolving Issues in the Marriage
If you recognize that there are issues in your marriage, but either you or your partner choose not to resolve those issues, then it may be in your best interest to move forward with a divorce.
Marriage counseling is often the last line of defense for a couple before they choose to file for divorce. Marriage counseling can last months or even years and can be a successful tool in helping restore a marriage. In order for counseling to be successful, however, both parties must be willing to be open and honest in their participation.
Some divorce proceedings may require mediation to take place as part of the divorce proceeding. Although marriage counseling is not a mandatory step as a matter of law, a judge may require that a couple goes through counseling before a divorce is finalized.
Is a Divorce the Right Choice for You?
Divorce can be a complicated and emotionally charged experience. Having a qualified divorce attorney by your side can ease the process. The Law Offices of John B. D’Alessandro can help you understand your legal rights as you move forward in your marriage.