Best Divorce Advice in 2021
If you are considering whether to file for divorce or you have just been served with divorce papers, it’s easy to feel overwhelmed. There are many moving parts to divorce, on top of the effects on your personal life and emotional wellbeing. Below, we offer a few tips to help with all aspects of the divorce. Most importantly, call an experienced New Jersey divorce attorney for help with a pending, future, or finalized divorce in New Jersey.
Get Organized Early
If you know you are planning to divorce, start the process as soon as possible. Start collecting financial information and other relevant documents. Make plans for where you (and your children) will need to move during or after the divorce. Start making lists of which assets are important to you and which you could part with. Talk to a lawyer even well before you file to get an idea of what you can start putting together to help streamline the process and prepare yourself best for what is to come.
Do Your Research
Often, the scariest part of anything is the part that is unknown. Learn about the divorce process, what to expect, and what will be expected of you. Your attorney can help you understand much of the process but it helps to do your own research to get a complete picture. The more you demystify the divorce process, the less anxiety it will provoke.
Stay Off Social Media
“Avoid social media” is probably good advice for anyone in 2021, regardless of whether they are involved in a legal proceeding. However, it’s especially important for divorcing parties. It’s easy to get caught up in the moment and post something angry or inappropriate. Badmouthing your ex publicly can only hurt your divorce case. Reading your ex’s posts and seeing their pictures can only damage your psychological well-being throughout the process. Do yourself a favor and limit, if not eliminate, your social media usage while your divorce is ongoing.
Be Active, Not Passive
Even if you are not the one filing for divorce, you need to take affirmative steps to protect your finances, your family, and yourself. Get your own lawyer and start speaking up for what you want.
Form a Strong Support System
Divorce can be emotionally challenging as well as isolating. Make sure that you have a strong support group of friends and family to help you through the process. Keeping an active social life can help you avoid wallowing in your thoughts. It will also help keep you grounded and avoid mistakes like calling your ex (whether to scream at them or in hopes of finding comfort or closure).
Get Your Finances in Order
It’s important not only to collect documents for the sake of the divorce case but also to understand your financial situation. Divorce will change things–you may be going from two incomes to one, or from one to zero. Alimony and child support might not be enough to support you and your kids, so you might need to start looking for other sources of income. You’ll also want to set yourself up for having a separate financial life post-divorce, which means setting up your own bank accounts, investment accounts, credit cards, and other financial basics.
Collaboration is Easier Than Conflict
Divorces are often heated. There are a lot of emotions swirling around, and it’s easy to get caught up in anger and hurt feelings. It’s certainly not possible in every divorce, but if it’s possible in yours, try to work with your spouse rather than against them. The more you can agree on things like property division, child custody/parenting time, and financial support, the easier your divorce will turn out, and the better off everyone will be.
Get Professional Counseling
It’s 2021; there’s no shame in therapy. Just about anyone can benefit, especially people who are going through something particularly intense or difficult. There are counselors who specialize in grief, divorce, depression or anxiety, and just about anything else you might be feeling. Proper counseling can make the whole process feel much more manageable.
If you’re considering divorce in New Jersey, call the knowledgeable and effective Union family law attorney John B. D’Alessandro for a consultation.